Monday, June 02, 2008

Reverence rhymes with awesome!

I recently heard a really smart sounding (nasally, stuttering and un-pretty) woman on NPR (Nationwide Public Radio, retard) talk about how reverent people are generally likeable. I’m not sure the context of her statement because I really only put NPR on in the background so that when I pull up to stoplights that hot attorney-looking (rich, tanned) dude driving a Lamborghini will be like, “Whoa, hot and socially aware: Boner City, USA!” (What he doesn’t know is I’ve got my iPod earbuds in and I’m jamming out to a sports mix I got from Nike.com when I got my Nike + system for my Nano. I don’t ever run, but the mix is still on my iPod. And I wear the shoes whenever any hot guy asks if I wanna go camping, which was like, once, and I’m so over that.) Anyway, I have no idea what this ugly woman was talking about, but it got me thinking: I’ve gotta be totally more reverent.

It was like this, super a-ha moment for me! I mean, that’s totally why people don’t like me. I know way too much shit to be thinking any one thing is super important. I mean, there was def a time when I thought God stuff was way cool, but not as much after high school when I had more important things to do than go to church lock-ins (make-out fests) at the YMCA. (BTW, Reverend Wilson was DEFINITELY not worth reverence. He had acne scars the size of moon craters. Good thing God loved him.) Anyway, I definitely wasn’t going to youth group it up after Robert Bradley Townshend, Jr. (my future husband) moved to Maine when his mom and dad got a divorce. (JK! Pete Wentz is my future husband. JK2! Ashlee Simpson is a hobag poser who contaminated him. I’m totally cool being single. For now. In 2 years I’ll be married and preggers. Gross, I’ll never get knocked up. Babies=parasites.)

Anyway, I am really into this idea of being reverent right now. It just makes things so much easier. To be honest, being anything is hard, but being reverent is the hardest! Spesh when you know better than to be a dork about some things. But I’m trying. Really, really hard.

I like to think I have reverence for myself being reverent, which, I hope, will make me 10 times more likeable than I already am.