Friday, January 20, 2006

A Labor of Love

His nose is his oyster and his fingers are explorers searching for a pearl. The risks are great, but the fruits of labor are sweet and plentiful. And with a crew of five fingers helping him out, anything is possible. Nothing's going to come between him and his booty.

He starts with his thumb, the big strong burly thumb, guaranteed tough. In a moment of urgency, it charges toward the cave-like opening, its massive power mashing the nostril shut, unable to penetrate a hole as small as that. After several failed attempts, he decides to go for the wingman, the pointer finger. The finger is able to nominally break into the dark hollow, but due to its size and shape is unable to wiggle a precious nugget from the grotto. For a moment, it gets stick, but the thumb comes to the rescue with help for the pointer finger. After several pinching gestures, they both return empty handed. This is not the moment to panic. There’s always the middle finger--the longest and nimblest finger of them all! It uses its length and strength to jimmy its way into the opening but after several prying motions, it comes back tired and defeated. The ring finger is too weak and sluggish; he doesn’t even consider it.

If only, there was a way to penetrate that gnarly bush of nose hair! If only there was a finger small enough to excavate that cave! These gems need to be mined and they need to be mined now! Then it comes to him in a flash: what about the pinky? That small, underappreciated baby of a finger! Sure it’s small and weak, but what it lacks in power, it makes up in spunk. Without faltering, the pinkey takes his cue and gracefully dashes into the nostril, a perfect fit! It wriggles and writhes, thrashes and flays, freeing a crop of beautiful pearls from the cavernous nostril.

O happy day! He is a rich man at last!

7 comments:

hucklebuck said...

You get to see some of the coolest things on that bus of yours.

Carrie said...

It was an amazing display of perserverance. He did not stop for the entire 20 minute bus ride. The entire front half of the bus, myself included, was captivated.

hucklebuck said...

No girl could possibly describe an experience like this so accurately without, indeed being a closet nose-picker herself. (bum bum, bum)

Carrie said...

hell yeah, i pick my nose! those boogers gotta go somewhere.

hucklebuck said...

Anyone who says otherwise, is a damn liar! (I can't stand people who claim they've never done that) Easy, on-the-go snacking, it's what I'm all about.

Carrie said...

i don't snack on my boogs, but i once read an article wherein a doctor said that its good for your immune system. makes sense.

hucklebuck said...

Oh hardened mucus, how I've underestimated your importance. Not only are you a delicious treat, but you're a benefit to my health.

(I've actually had a running conversation, with a girl, on the topic of boogies?)

Carrie, thanks for making this all possible. You're a real pal.