Thursday, November 30, 2006

My Very Successful 2006 Resolution

Some time in late 2005, I started realizing that all of the things that I was always complaining about were actually situations where the ball was in my court. Or at least situations where I could grab the ball and put it in my court. (You see, I'm using easy to understand and technically correct basketball analogies here.) One of those things had to do with friendships that I had lost over the years. In a lot of ways, I'm an easy going gal, but at the same time, I'm my grandmother's daughter--or a leo. Either one would explain my tendency to get hurt easily by some people and my quickness to turn to roaring anger when hurt. Anyway, I realized that I had "unfinished business" with about 5 people.

And through this year, I not only forgave the people who hurt me, but I did so in a ceremonious way, which coincided with my other New Year's resolution: To outwardly declare to the world in very certain terms those things that I wanted from it.

It was definitely awkward and hard to do. And my pride has taken a beating, but just like a broken bone, its healed stronger than ever. Some of these people I had spent the last 4 years pretending that they didn't exist. One of the girls refused to talk with me about it. I think she is ashamed. I forgave her anyway and we are civil if not friendly to one another. I worried that peeps would think that I was in a 12-step program or that I was resolving issues before going home and killing myself. Or some other dark and dramatic reason. And the timing was off on a few of
them. One of the girls with whom I talked it out, an old friend, she thought I was suddenly trying to take advantage of her new position at a theatre where most performers in Chicago want to work. So I had to try to explain my resolution, which made me feel like a hateful bitch, because who has so many grudges that she has to make a New Year's resolution to get rid of them?


Anyway, there is one last person out there. I can't say I am still holding a grudge, but I definitely haven't spoken with the Asshole about it, so I haven't exactly committed to not holding a grudge against Douchebrains either. The funny thing is, I completely forgive the Blowhard when he's not around. But when I see his Smug Donkey Face, I find myself wanting to slap it to high Heaven. I mean, Fucko isn't a part of my life or thoughts anymore. I'm happy and have great friends who aren't Ego-Manical Freakshows like he is. And I'm sure the Tool has changed, even though he HAS THE MOST INCAPABLE HEART I HAVE EVER HAD THE SORROW OF KNOWING. Anyway, I should talk to the Dirtbag about it, tell him that I forgive his slimy self and that I'm no longer putting pins in the eyes of the voodoo doll whose body I keep trapped under the foot
of my bed.

So, yeah, for the most part my resolution was successful.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Toucs Says Hi

Toucs says hi. He’s been kinda down lately. It all started because he missed you. He was asking all about you and where you lived. I told him. He asked me to drive him there. I told him I didn't have a car and his face fell. I fetched him a pink tissue, from my purse. It was the designer kind with flowers on it. He blew his beak into it.

All of the sudden, his little fabric eyes lit up: he had an idea! He could fly to your house! He started bouncing up and down on his soft fabric bum, made one giant leap off the bed towards the open window and fell beak-first on his head. Thankfully, my navy throw pillows were on the floor under him to soften his fall. He just lay there, looking cross-eyed and dazed. He asked me why his wings didn't spread when he tried to fly and I told him it was because, like the rest of him, his wings were woven into the fabric of his body.

He grew sad. It was the saddest little bird face I’ve ever seen. He fell into a long depression. Every morning when I left for work he asked to be tucked in the covers rather than sitting on the top of the bed all day while I was gone.

Then one day, I came home and found him on the internet. He was excitedly typing out words with his beak. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he finally got out of bed and decided to see if there were any online support groups for toucs like him - flying challenged toucs. He told me that he came across a touc in Brazil just like him and they talked about all the downfalls of being built like pillows. In the process of doing this, they also realized there were advantages too. People like to squeeze them more and they got to live in nice, dry climate controlled bedrooms, rather than rainy forests. And best of all, they got to live much longer lives! So now he's all cheery and excited to see you to tell you of his realization.

If he talks about it, pretend I didn't tell you.

Monday, November 20, 2006

I am married.

Chris and I got married on November 11. It was the best party of my life. Expect more entries as we near the New Year. Weddings, however untraditional, are a lot of work. At least my wedding was; I'm a Do It Yourself kind of gal.