I am smart.

We are on a very crowded bus. I am sitting, because I got on first and was lucky enough to get one of the last remaining seats. She is standing over me, holding onto the bar, because she got on the last stop and was not as lucky as I. Poor thing.

I am doing a crossword puzzle. She is standing over me watching me do the crossword puzzle. I can tell she's watching me, but she doesn't know that I know this. But I have keen senses.

I have an advantage in that I actually started the crossword puzzle last night. But she does not know this. All she sees is that I am sharp. And swift. To her, I am a very smart person who can do a crossword puzzle in one bus ride.

56 Down: The emperor before Trajen.

I had an ex-boyfriend who loved the Classics and said he wanted to name his kid Trajen, but call him Tray. He was intellectually smart, but emotionally dumb as bricks. Very immature. I like to judge him as such. Lucky for me, I am both intellectually and emotionally smart and I am very mature. I can deduce, without really knowing, that the answer is Negra. Well, its either Negra or Netra. But I've never heard of Netra, so I'll go with Negra. I put my finger over this answer in case I am wrong. I don't think she notices. I'm pretty sure she's still pretty impressed with me because I've nearly completed this crossword puzzle in one bus ride. One short bus ride, at that.

She looks very smart. She looks much smarter than I look and she knows it. She's probably a lawyer. Or a professor. She's wearing jeans because its really her day off, but she's going into the office to do important things because she's very smart and they need her in order to stay afloat. But all of that doesn't matter because I'm prettier than she is and I'm also very smart.

40 Across: Speaker's Stand.

Lectern. Or is it Lecturn? I think its Lectern. I'm not a very good speller. Honestly, being a good speller doesn't make you smart. It just makes you good at memorization. Kids are very good at memorizing, and I'm a lot smarter than a kid.

It’s a Thursday puzzle. Hard, but not as hard as a Saturday or a Sunday puzzle. Lucky for me, it’s going really smoothly. Thursday puzzles are almost too easy for me, really. She can see this, because she's watching me, very impressed that I've done so well.

She is thinking to herself: "She doesn't look very smart. She's too fashionable and pretty to be as smart as she is. I guess I was wrong. I guess one can be pretty and smart. I wish I was also pretty. But I am just smart."

I almost feel guilty that I'm making her feel so badly.

1 Down: Composer Franz

Oooo. Toughie. I'm really bad with this sort of clue. I don't know music and I can never remember names. The top left corner is giving me trouble. Isn't that supposed to be the easiest section? Someone once told me that the bottom right corner is the easiest, but that was the area that included the Negra clue. Hardly anyone knows that Roman stuff. I mean, I did, but I'm hardly Anyone.

She can see that I'm faltering. Shit, the gig is up. Oh wait! She's getting off. Phew. Image saved.

She left the bus feeling defeated and wishing she were me.