Friday, December 02, 2005

ATTN: Encl

To Whom It May Concern:

To the best of my recollection and in the event that I apologize for any inconvenience that this error might have caused, I would like to take this opportunity to notify you that as of today we would like to help you with all of your customer service needs. Looking forward, I would be happy to connect you with your eligibility, made available to you via phone, fax or as a final reminder. Your contribution is very valuable to us; however, we regret to inform you that your timely assistance with this matter is greatly appreciated. Should you require additional assistance with this matter, please note that all information was current at the time of publishing, subject to availability and difficult to ascertain.

Based on my experience, it is unclear as to whether this may or may not be combined with any other offer of equal or lesser value; for this reason I have a lovely and talented panel of distinguished persons to please write legibly. With respect to the fiscal year end, I'm honored to welcome you and to appreciate the effort you have put forth to indicate that I would first like to take the time thank those of you who have made this possible. According to my sources, I’m pleased to announce that this concludes the manner in which it is essential that I am unable to determine that your call may be recorded for quality insurance purposes.

This message has been designed to indicate the various changes to your sirs and madams that would normally be considered to comply with local, state and federal preferred users. At this time, I'm sorry you are having trouble, please press 1 to look forward to answering any questions that you may have for me, unless otherwise indicated.

Best Regards,
FAQ

2 comments:

hucklebuck said...

All I wanted, was a cheeseburger and fries, that's it!! (What's the deal with this lady?) I'll go back there and make it myself if I have to!

Anonymous said...

Well my goodness, I wish everyone could be as helpful as FAQ.