O Happy Day!

A lot of people are overjoyed with the news that I am going to be married! They have come in drones to applaud me on my recent engagement. I have received emails wishing me happiness, phone calls overflowing with best wishes for this magical day and colorful letters eager to be the first to congratulate my fiancée and me! Yes, a lot of people are rooting for my upcoming marriage—caterers, florists, wedding planners and photographers.

I am so touched by their sincerity.

Barf.