She walked up to the Passport Office window, wearing sturdy denim carpenter pants and muddy work boots, tired after 2 days of not sleeping.
"I'm tired but I got a great surprise. I'm going to Jamaica," she told the attendant behind the counter who was busy processing her request.
"I like those paper clips." She pointed to the oversized paperclip she was using to attach one stack of important papers to a computer print-off she had just retrieved from the computer.
"Yeah? Here have one," the attendant.
"Thanks!” It made her day. “Can I have a few more? I really like them a lot."
"Merry Christmas!" the attendant sang as she handed her a box.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Jamaica
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A scene from Austin Powers with Carrie playing the role of Austin and Andy playing the role of Vanessa.
The year, 2025. Carrie has been recently unfrozen and is about to reclaim her belongings.
Clerk: "One ace bandage"
Carrie: "Oh very nice, still fits wonderfully"
Clerk: "One oversized paper clip"
Carrie: "Smashing, aren't these just amazing?"
Andy: "Quite....amazing actually"
Clerk: "And one 5 piece Swedish made vagina weight set"
Carrie: "Those aren't mine, I swear, honestly. That's not my bag, baby."
Clerk: "One hardcovered book, entitled, Vagina weights and me- the story of a girl and her sturdy pelvic floor."
Andy: "Vagina weights? I didn't know you were in to heavy lifting?"
Carrie: "They're not mine, honestly."
Andy: "O.K. She-Ra, let's just go."
And.............scene.
Seriously, 24 years on this planet and I've never heard of vagina weights till now. You are a surprise around every corner.
Funny you should mention that little scenario. I had not heard of vagina weights either until my friend Alex told me the following story: She was visiting her friends in NYC and was given vagina weights as a gag birthday gift. On her way back, the weights set off a red flag and her bag was searched in the airport security checkpoint. Of course, she felt the need to explain the box marked "Vagina Weights" to the security officer who was completely non-plussed (or should I say "non-pussed") by the whole scnenario. "Its nothing to be ashamed of, ma'am. I've seen a lot of these," he told her.
Excellent story, eh?
Unbelievable/hilarious story! I looked up what those were on the internet, and after reading the explanation/definition of vagina weights, I still don't know what they are used for.
And I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.
The instructional video probably makes for a good laugh though.
Between the vagina weights and the "A good mother leaves no stone unturned" entry, you're beginning to age before my eyes.
If you don't mind me asking, are you anywhere near the age of 24?
I thought you were at first possibly, but now, not so sure.
I'm 26. I just like to screw around with character perspective.
So you just waiting for the 5 o'clock bell to ring? I know I am.
I have a 6 o'clock bell. But I'm also waiting for it to ring.
Sounds like the man is really sticking it to ya.
The man is keeping me here till 5:30.
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